imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine
So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.
- blowing cigarette ash off my clothes
- living in filth/living with bugs
- customer service
- made out with a girl once
- it was tiiiight
- so tight
really though.. it was fuckin tight…
sending your kid to catholic school is the easiest way to guarantee your kid will not be catholic
goth privilege is not having to separate loads when you do laundry
miley hella warned us that she couldn’t be tamed like 4 years ago
it’s not about your boobs ladies. it’s about what’s under your boobs. your lungs, because we are gonna be blazing a lot of kush and you need to keep up.
i literally have no idea what im gonna do if i dont end up rich
my drunken father came home, pointed at my socks and said ‘what the fuck are those’